Okay, so this has been a post that’s been on my mind for a while. It’s a topic that comes up far more often than I would like in my daily life, and I’ve decided that it’s time to just write about it, get it on paper (or the internet, whatever) and let people read or not read as they see fit.
There really isn’t much else to say that the title of this post doesn’t already cover, however, I’d like to address each of these points on their own so I can just refer people to this blog post in the future and not have to explain myself a billion and a half times.
A few nights ago, Kate was explaining a situation that she encountered. She said a few times “What I WANTED to say was…” which made me realize how many times in a day, week, etc, that I say that phrase as well. Once I was on THAT thought train, it derailed on the corner of “why the fuck don’t I just say what I want?” with the cross street of “because you’re human and care about the feelings of others”.
Here’s the question that I posed to myself (and now to you, the three that read my blog), how often to you stop what you really want to say to be politically correct to the person that you’re speaking to?
I decided to take to the blog to state just one thing:
MATT NATHANSON I LOVE YOU.
I have huge expectations. Not only of myself (which I generally kick my own ass over because I never achieve them), but of other people, events, and pretty much everything else in my life. I’m constantly expecting things to turn out a specific way, or for things to be huge epic events, and I find myself being incredibly disappointed when they don’t turn out the way that I expected them to.
Once it was pointed out to me (thanks, Kate) that I actually do this ALL. THE. TIME. I really started to think about it, and realized that it was true. I’m totally an expectation addict.
For the last few days, nay, the last few weeks, i haven’t been sleeping well at ALL. I don’t know what it is, or why I can’t, but for some reason I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and have been wide awake. Gotta tell ya, it’s not the most wonderful thing that I’ve ever experienced. I’m not used to having problems sleeping. Normally I sleep like the freaking dead, so this whole “Hey world, what’s up, it’s 4AM!” thing is not working for me.
I’ve got nothing in the way of titles. Titles are the hardest thing for me. Even when I would do my reviews coming up with a snappy one liner for the title was always what threw me for a loop. I’m not good at being concise or drawing people into my writing, I guess! Anyway. It’s been a while since I’ve checked in. I knew that the daily thing wouldn’t last. There really isn’t an excuse for it, just me having every intention to update, but realizing that no one really cares what happens, anyway! Am I right?
On Friday I turned 31. I never thought I’d be 31 years old, let alone 31 years old, single, still renting an apartment, and childless. My “plan” was always to finish school (nope), get married (nope), have kids (nope), and all before I was 27. Well… that (none of it) worked out the way that I planned. And you know what?
I’m beyond happy about it.