The last couple of days have been difficult for me. I’ve been thinking a lot of things that I’m not overly sure how to vocalize, which is incredibly frustrating to me because I have people that will (and want to) listen. I guess I’ve just felt like a bad person. There really isn’t another way to say it. I feel like I’m a brat, someone that is extremely judgmental, and selfish.
These are all things that I never want to be! Or at least things that I don’t want to associate fully with my personality. Everyone is judgmental and selfish at times, and the brat comes out in all of us at some point, but I feel like it’s more often for me than others.
I know comparing myself to another person is not good. It takes all kinds of people to make the world an interesting place, right? But like… would it kill me to reply to a group text message so I don’t hurt someone’s feelings? Even if they don’t mention hurt feelings, showing excitement for another person, which literally takes 30 seconds of my time, is something that I should do.
And getting rid of the inner judgment of others when they do things that I wouldn’t do, or heaven forbid, DIFFERENTLY than I would do… Or something that I don’t understand WHY they’d do it… I don’t know. I’m not even sure if this makes sense, truthfully, just needed a place to get the words out where I could delete as needed when I DIDN’T make sense… and not worry about trying to make it coherent for anyone else.
I’m going to keep this in the forefront of my mind and work on these things that bother me, so hopefully, I can overcome them.
Olivia Cooke as Jane Harper in The Quiet Ones
01) The Seasoning House: I wouldn’t actually classify this as a horror movie, other than one or two fairly gory scenes. It’s more of a thriller with disturbing content. The Netflix synopsis was WAY off (something about “The only thing that can save them is what’s hidden in the walls that trap them.”); it’s actually about human sexual slavery. It was very well acted and suspenseful so, if you’re up for that heavy of a subject, I do recommend it.
02) Apartment 1303: Truly, truly awful. The timelines made no sense, the characters were completely unbelievable and unlikeable, and there are scenes where it’s obvious that something was edited out that was pivotal to the scene. It’s not even a “it’s so bad, it’s good” thing. It’s just bad.
03) Oculus: I liked Oculus a lot. It was really creepy, had…
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Okay, so this has been a post that’s been on my mind for a while. It’s a topic that comes up far more often than I would like in my daily life, and I’ve decided that it’s time to just write about it, get it on paper (or the internet, whatever) and let people read or not read as they see fit.
There really isn’t much else to say that the title of this post doesn’t already cover, however, I’d like to address each of these points on their own so I can just refer people to this blog post in the future and not have to explain myself a billion and a half times.
A few nights ago, Kate was explaining a situation that she encountered. She said a few times “What I WANTED to say was…” which made me realize how many times in a day, week, etc, that I say that phrase as well. Once I was on THAT thought train, it derailed on the corner of “why the fuck don’t I just say what I want?” with the cross street of “because you’re human and care about the feelings of others”.
Here’s the question that I posed to myself (and now to you, the three that read my blog), how often to you stop what you really want to say to be politically correct to the person that you’re speaking to?
I’ve been thinking about writing this blog post since about 8:30 last night. It’s a little hard for me to put my thoughts into words without fangirling all over the place, or making this sound like a diary entry. So, here it goes.
I decided to take to the blog to state just one thing:
MATT NATHANSON I LOVE YOU.